the most intimate thing we did before having kissed him the first time under stars and damp clothes left hanging on the clothes line was: mainting small talk about anime, relationships, dota, school, parents, money, the heat...
the power went out just when the sun was comming up. so we sat there watching the first rays creep into the room.
after the night of the stolen kiss and his first glance on the rebel gurl inside the quiet female border were 4 more drunk nights. rhum would saturate our blood and then we became what we really were.
i remember, i was sitting on my bed when he stormed into my room. between 5 people we were able to consume 4 long necked Tanduay downed with pine apple juice. he openned the door without knocking, wearing that boyish brad pitt grin. he reached for the light switch turning it off. and in an instant his hands and legs and lips were on me. friends just as drunk as us long gone home, we could hear the faint clink of the billiard balls together and the boisterous laughter of the other drunks outside. romance in the typical Filipino suburban.
but i shouldnt be thinking of civics and culture at that moment.
his lips were touching places i have fantasized about. he was a.. uhmm.. good fuck.
but i dont think thats the reason why i stuck with him. 28 days later, i would look at him and still get turned on by that brat pit grin, especially now that i know that that grin is only for me. i would recognized more scars on his face now. each one a story: of climbing coconut trees and almost getting killed, fishing and getting sucked into a crevice, sniffing rugby at the little hut in the middle on the rice fields, sneaking a girlfriend into the bedroom and keeping the whispers down or grandma would get really really upset, handling the onset and the eventual fall of his father into schezophrenia, boyish brawl fights that touch nerve buttons even now, quitting school, getting drunk, and the latest one, a scratch from when a new lover got too excited.
almost everytime id wake up and i would find him smolthered into my breasts. he tells me he feels the best when he is. he says, he wishes to stay like that forever. a smile and a tear would line an eye because i know i wish the same.
these are the things that make me feel: ...